I wanted to write briefly about how hard it is to be married to a public school teacher. Particularly in recent months, with all the protests and bitter battles over benefits and state salaries, I thought I'd chime in and really let you see how much of a pain in the ass it is to have a teacher as a wife.
It's hard to do my taxes at the end of the year and realize just how much of our income was spent on school supplies and specific tools for student needs that the district couldn't or wouldn't provide. It's equally hard to keep my mouth shut about it because I know she will defend those expenses to her last breath.
It's hard to watch her leave every morning at 6:30am and know that if I'm lucky I'll see her at 7pm that night. Once in a while she's out by 4pm, but usually I don't see her until after dark, and there are times – frequently – that I get that call from school saying 'go ahead and eat, I won't be back until after 10.'
It's hard to hear her talk about 'summer vacation' when I know she'll spend the first month of it taking care of foreign exchange students or chaperoning twenty students on a trip or breaking down her classroom to accommodate the administration. The last month is similarly spent, spending hours preparing, and working on curriculum, knowing at best she'll get only a few full weeks of real vacation time where she can recover.
It's difficult to know that she works an overload every single year because the schools have been badly overcrowded and understaffed for as long as she's been there, but the prospect of spending more money on school facilities is seen as a waste of tax dollars. So she makes do, working off a cart for years and often in common spaces to save money.
It was painful watching her get excited about finally getting a basement windowless classroom – a former men's locker room down to the urinals – and spending hours decorating it and covering the toilets because she didn't see any of that: All she saw was that she could finally realize her dream of providing the educational environment to the kids she's wanted to for half a decade.
It's hard to watch these things and know that we're talking about rural Wisconsin, not a poor inner city, then hearing politicians rant about excessive funding of public schools.
It's hard to watch her fight to keep up on unfunded state and federal mandates, growing community expectations, and the balance of demands from numerous 'bosses' all with the expectation that she'll do it for less and less. To have dreams of ways to open minds always spoken to the drum beat of slamming doors.
It's hard to see the heart wrenching emotion hit her in waves over dinner and on weekends because she gets attached to the futures of her students and sometimes sheds tears of joy when they succeed and different kind when they fail. To know that the fact that she's making connections with these kids and opening their worlds blinds her to the crushing odds stacked against public education today.
It's painful then to watch some people pile on unfunded expectations, vote against actual funding, and then call for the option to pull their kids from public schools when they don't get the programs they didn't vote to pay for, all the while demonizing my wife and her peers for failing to teach.
It hurts to watch her answer such people by standing up for the quality of her job and the future of her profession, insisting on professional grade compensation and working conditions only to be met with accusations of not caring for the kids enough.
It's also hard to hear people talk about union greed and teacher selfishness when my wife's union, like many, have been working with the district and trying hard to find ways to achieve a positive relationship. Where the community, the board, and the union, while not always friendly, have been supportive, constructive, and mostly together, banding together behind the teachers when Scott Walker's plan unfolded – the union agreeing not to protest at the expense of the kids, and the board agreeing to support teacher's efforts to protest once the day was over.
It was hard to watch my wife open her paycheck on the second day of her ninth year of school, and see that her take home salary had been reduced to what it was when she started teaching along with a shift in benefits to a lower level of medical coverage than she had then.
It is hardest for me to be married to a teacher because if you have the privilege of knowing one like my wife, you know that it will be hard to ever live up to the fierce dedication, commitment, and love that keeps them going. That despite the salary cuts and the hate, the misrepresentation of their work and the impossibility of the demands, they will push on.
What I know is that I am married to a woman who loves what she does and her students so much that that she would gladly break herself for them. This breaks my heart: Not because of how much it hurts her to keep trying, but from the sheer pride I feel to stand with her every step of the way.
It's hard to do my taxes at the end of the year and realize just how much of our income was spent on school supplies and specific tools for student needs that the district couldn't or wouldn't provide. It's equally hard to keep my mouth shut about it because I know she will defend those expenses to her last breath.
It's hard to watch her leave every morning at 6:30am and know that if I'm lucky I'll see her at 7pm that night. Once in a while she's out by 4pm, but usually I don't see her until after dark, and there are times – frequently – that I get that call from school saying 'go ahead and eat, I won't be back until after 10.'
It's hard to hear her talk about 'summer vacation' when I know she'll spend the first month of it taking care of foreign exchange students or chaperoning twenty students on a trip or breaking down her classroom to accommodate the administration. The last month is similarly spent, spending hours preparing, and working on curriculum, knowing at best she'll get only a few full weeks of real vacation time where she can recover.
It's difficult to know that she works an overload every single year because the schools have been badly overcrowded and understaffed for as long as she's been there, but the prospect of spending more money on school facilities is seen as a waste of tax dollars. So she makes do, working off a cart for years and often in common spaces to save money.
It was painful watching her get excited about finally getting a basement windowless classroom – a former men's locker room down to the urinals – and spending hours decorating it and covering the toilets because she didn't see any of that: All she saw was that she could finally realize her dream of providing the educational environment to the kids she's wanted to for half a decade.
It's hard to watch these things and know that we're talking about rural Wisconsin, not a poor inner city, then hearing politicians rant about excessive funding of public schools.
It's hard to watch her fight to keep up on unfunded state and federal mandates, growing community expectations, and the balance of demands from numerous 'bosses' all with the expectation that she'll do it for less and less. To have dreams of ways to open minds always spoken to the drum beat of slamming doors.
It's hard to see the heart wrenching emotion hit her in waves over dinner and on weekends because she gets attached to the futures of her students and sometimes sheds tears of joy when they succeed and different kind when they fail. To know that the fact that she's making connections with these kids and opening their worlds blinds her to the crushing odds stacked against public education today.
It's painful then to watch some people pile on unfunded expectations, vote against actual funding, and then call for the option to pull their kids from public schools when they don't get the programs they didn't vote to pay for, all the while demonizing my wife and her peers for failing to teach.
It hurts to watch her answer such people by standing up for the quality of her job and the future of her profession, insisting on professional grade compensation and working conditions only to be met with accusations of not caring for the kids enough.
It's also hard to hear people talk about union greed and teacher selfishness when my wife's union, like many, have been working with the district and trying hard to find ways to achieve a positive relationship. Where the community, the board, and the union, while not always friendly, have been supportive, constructive, and mostly together, banding together behind the teachers when Scott Walker's plan unfolded – the union agreeing not to protest at the expense of the kids, and the board agreeing to support teacher's efforts to protest once the day was over.
It was hard to watch my wife open her paycheck on the second day of her ninth year of school, and see that her take home salary had been reduced to what it was when she started teaching along with a shift in benefits to a lower level of medical coverage than she had then.
It is hardest for me to be married to a teacher because if you have the privilege of knowing one like my wife, you know that it will be hard to ever live up to the fierce dedication, commitment, and love that keeps them going. That despite the salary cuts and the hate, the misrepresentation of their work and the impossibility of the demands, they will push on.
What I know is that I am married to a woman who loves what she does and her students so much that that she would gladly break herself for them. This breaks my heart: Not because of how much it hurts her to keep trying, but from the sheer pride I feel to stand with her every step of the way.
The students are lucky to have your wife and your wife is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteAll Smiles is right. And to your wife "Thank you for all that you do for your students."
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to watch people defend the outrageous spending on our public schools, and even call for more, when we, as a Nation, spend so much more per pupil than all the countries who beat us year after year in academic achievement. At what time do we realize our public school system is broken? At what time do we realize education does NOT equal dollars spent? We know it isn't the teachers. Sure, some are bad, but most truly care and have the skills needed to educate. But the entire system has become a parasite on the public dollar. It exists to suck more and more, not educate more and more. At the same time, we hold parents less and less responsible for their end of the bargain. We feed their children, babysit their children and do everything for them but expect them to be PARENTS. Even worse, despite diminishing results since the 60s, we insist on implementing avant garde teaching methods. We ignore what made our schools great into the early 60s and insist on curriculums which have done nothing but degrade the educational experience. Oh, but how those kids feel good! No wait. They really don't. Kids apparently are smarter than adminstrators (ok, I admit, that isn't saying much)because the kids know they didn't EARN the accolade. They know they got it for doing nothing. The grown-ups feel good because they think they made the kids feel good. The kids lose their sense of self-worth because they know they are getting a free ride when what they crave is a challenge. But hey! Let's SPEND MORE!!!! That will surely solve all those problems.
ReplyDeleteThank you to all the dedicated public school teachers across the country - my mom is one of them.
ReplyDeleteI am a public school teacher also. It heartened me to read your post. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTax, the converse of 'throwing money' at schools is just as destructive and wasteful. If you simply cut funding to schools as has been done recently, education also suffers.
ReplyDeletePublic schools absolutely need reform work, but that work needs to begin with something that hasn't happened yet: Trusting teachers and educational professionals to BE the pros in the field and to reform schools without being second guessed all the time by government and parents. Cutting the dollars to schools without a plan is just as stupid as throwing money at schools without a plan, and the results are just as poor.
We talk about reform as if there is some formula out there that has not yet been discovered. We talk about how great our educational system was in the 60's. Let's not forget that in the 60's, kids respected adults, teachers were held in higher regard and treated as professionals. They didn't cram 35 kids in a classroom all with varying needs and expect the teachers to work magic tricks. Kids that talked back weren't hugged by their principals, they were spanked and spanked again when they got home! Parents didn't rush to accuse the teacher of something, they called to let the teacher know that they were sorry and that it wouldn't happen again!
ReplyDeleteI agree with beckadams concerning parents giving up their responsibilities and making excuses for their children's unruly behaviors and disrespect. They blame the teachers for things that are their responsibility. Teachers are faced, minute by minute, with students having severe emotional and physical needs, and behavioral disorders. Teachers have to be as exciting as video games so they can get the attention of their class. Kids are so bombarded with visual and audio stimulations that it's impossible for a human to keep their attention. From toddler age, kids are parked in front of TV or the internet so the parents don't have to deal with them, then they send these kids to school and expect the teacher to be able to get and keep their attention all day. It will never happen, but if parents turned off the TV and the computer, allowed kids quiet time with books, or being outside to use their imaginations, kids would not be the problem they are today. This is a whole new world. Maybe the next generation of teachers will be robots, programmed to blow up every few minutes to keep the kids' attention. God help us.
ReplyDeleteIf we spend more on education than other countries (do we really?), then much of it is going to administrators, textbook companies, and testing.
ReplyDeleteAndre, you almost had me in tears. It's not right that it takes so much to do the job well. But it sounds like the kids in your wife's care are in good hands.
I know this was for your wife, but really is for all teachers. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAndre, as a 12 year teacher in California all I can say is: THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts. What you don't know is that regardless of all the negativity, critisism, lack of funding, overcrowding in the classrooms, etc., etc., etc., when a teacher reads a letter like yours it gives us a little bit of hope. Hope to think that we are not alone in this quest of ours. It really lights up our day to know that somewhere out there we have the support and recognition this profession deserves. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe U.S., the richest nation on earth, spends the smallest proportion of GDP on education of all the industrial countries. Now, one could argue that the U.S. spends the most overall on education, but if we desire to maintain our economic domination and a thriving, growing society, we should be spending the greatest proportion of GDP on education. Our priorities should be to support policies and spending that builds and nourishes life. Instead we spend an enourmous amount on building bombs and ways to destroy life.
ReplyDeleteThe people who compare our education system to those of other countries just don't seem smart enough to get the point that in American public schools, WE EDUCATE ANYONE AND EVERYONE...in many countries, post middle school education is a right earned not just a rite of passage. We take criminals (true criminals, I once had a kid on a tether for a drive by shooting ordered into my classroom by the courts who did not even inform the school that this kid had issues!)We take those with special needs (emotional problems, physical handicaps, low IQ's, high IQ's, hungry tummies, and much more) and we throw them into a system that is supposed to teach them all, for less money, in outdated facilities, with limited technology, where the lights are turned off in hallways and air is not circulated, heated or cooled in classrooms to save money. In any job, you pay the people who work for you...teachers work and deserve compensation for what they do...When people used to ask me how I could teach and hadn't the kids changed...my response was always no...Kids did not change, their parents did. They devalued the job of educators and the kids know it. I used to take my son to his music lessons and a parent of one of his friends was there waiting for her son. When I entered the music store, she would rise and stay standing until I sat, no matter what I said. She explained that she owed me that respect because I taught her sons. She was highly educated and the wife of a prominent doctor. She was from China. I think there is a message there for the people who trash teachers.
ReplyDeleteAmen to your support of teachers, I forced myself to retire after 35 years because my worth was devalued in the eyes of the public so badly that I could no longer pick my heart up off the floor to do, be, spend, and extend myself to the level I had. It was time to get out. Your entry brought tears to my eyes and the pain I felt back. Now the district I was working for is having teachers giving back 6-9,000 dollars of their salary each year for the next 2 years and they are paying more than double for their insurance. Those of you in business may say, so...we all are, but how does 9000 translate to a 300,00 dollar salary compared to a 30,000 salary. These teachers eating habits and children's future will change because of this, not the case with 6 figure earnings. Your article will hopefully open some eyes. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteThank you. As an 18-year public school teacher, I wonder sometimes how it is that I am suddenly a bad guy in the eyes of the American media and various reform groups. Like your wife, I pour my heart and soul into my job, often at the expense of my own husband and two children. Like your wife, I didn't go into teaching for the money, but because I wanted to work with kids and help them learn to love reading and writing as much as I do.
ReplyDeleteI wish more spouses/children/siblings/parents of public school teachers would speak out as you have done. it makes more difference than you know.
I was a special education teacher for the past 2 years. I know exactly the cost, hours, and struggles you are writing about. And so does my wife. She married me a few weeks before I began my first year as a teacher. It was often a very difficult and trying first year of our marriage. Not only because of the extra hours I worked, but also because of the financial burden we were under. Things got a little better as time went on, but this past year, my contract was not renewed (not tenured, budget cuts). I tried not to take it too personally, but it definitely felt like all the hours and hard work I put in were unappreciated by my school.
ReplyDeleteI have a new job as a paraprofessional. While it doesn't pay nearly what a teacher's salary is (which is not much to begin with), I am still glad to have a job in education. It is what I love to do more than anything in the world.
What I find interesting is that a few years ago, teachers were considered overworked and underpaid by almost every politician in America. Now, in this economy, and budgets being what they are, many consider teachers having it easy. To some extent, we do have it easy when comparing how teachers are doing to so many others in this economy.
But rather than helping those who are in need, politicians pick on teachers, and insist they need to have it hard too (when it is already a difficult job). Rather than raising taxes on the wealthy to help the poor and unemployed, we make cuts to services (including education) for those who need it the most. I know that one day, I will be teaching in a public school again. I can only hope that the climate for teachers changes for the better by them (but we may have to fight for it).
So many people are right in so many ways it's true we do not have responsible parents the system is broken.
ReplyDeleteWe are not willing to see the good, And take care to correct the system. We give lifelong benefits to congress. we allow people to be politicians without term limits ,
And We need line item veto to cut out pork.
You're talking about every teacher I ever had that inspired me to do what I do, and every teacher I work with who lifts me up when it gets hard. And I hope you're talking about me.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU...someone other than a teach had to finally speak up. i appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteSome existing comments refer to the cost per student in absolute dollars (where the US ranks #1). Others refer to percentage of GDP (where the US ranks 37th). Remember that absolute dollars ignores the sever differences in cost of living from country to country. It also ignores the fact that our schools now act as social institutions for disadvantaged children (a huge cost burden) since social support programs are being axed. What is important is the importance given to education as a percentage of a country's wealth...and the US ranks 37th. See http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/edu_edu_spe-education-spending-of-gdp or google "US education spending compared to other countries".
ReplyDeleteThis is my 21st year to teach. I agree with what mslisabeebe said above--every good teacher I have ever known is kindred spirit to your wife. And I hope you are talking about me, too.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing with your insight and your support and your love for your wife and indeed, your respect for your wife and her profession. I needed to hear a voice on our side today.
I'm also the husband of a teacher. A teacher in Phoenix, AZ. Look on the bright side, sir...at least your kids speak English.
ReplyDeleteAndre is my son and I too am in public education first as a teacher and now as an administrator. He has lived his whole life knowing what it means to live on a teacher salary. I am so glad he has the courage to speak out.
ReplyDeleteAlissa is a great daughter in law and a great teacher. Proud Mom in law.
My spouse teaches fourth grade you just nailed everything I've been feeling right on the head. We stand with you and your wife. Thank you for writing this.
ReplyDelete