When did it become a sin to be wrong?
In today's media, employment and even social environment, we have adopted a policy of never admitting to any wrong. We avoid being wrong in ways that suggest that should be discovered that we lacked the requisite 'rightness' we might be fired, ostracized or humiliated in a way from which we might never recover. Just watching the discussions between otherwise sane and reasonable people about important topics and you see a wide variety of 'wrongness avoidance'. What do I mean? You all should recognize these:
If the facts start to prove your position untenable, change the subject to something related.
“But John, there was no meeting in your yard and we have film to prove it.”
“See, this is what you people do, you invade privacy and think because you got some secret film you can invalidate my cause!”
If evidence runs against you, attack the speaker, and reference generic 'experts'.
“There were no weapons of mass destruction. We found none. There is no evidence there ever were.”
“You have no idea what you're talking about. Experts say we just got there too late.”
And to prevent being wrong – take no position whatsoever and take no risk by sticking to outrageous generalities.
“Steve, my cause is about the things that are important to all Americans. They are those principles and beliefs core to our way of life and the dreams we all strive for. I think America can agree, that while the Economy is terrible right now, the right people in the right jobs can make it better.”
Finally, follow the instructions of higher-ups literally and painfully to avoid any chance they might say you read the instructions or followed the process 'wrong'.
My example for this is less hypothetical:
I recently got turned down for an position in HR. The recruiter called me to tell me I wouldn't be getting the job because I had no experience in an HR department. The call went something like this.
Her: I'm sorry, Mr. Schmeichel, but this job requires someone with HR experience.
Me: Ahm... I understood that when I applied, I did hiring, firing, reviews, and raises for my department at the Telco for nearly six years. Does this position require more?
Her: No, it doesn't, but you never worked in an HR department, and that's what the manager requires.
Me: Okay, but at the time I was doing HR for my department, our HR wasn't doing direct hiring they were coaching department managers and using us as their HR agents. HR was only 2-3 people. I did everything the job description we discussed requires down to the paperwork.
Her: Yes, but you never worked in an HR DEPARTMENT. That's what the job description requires.
Me: So... even though I could do all the jobs required and have done all the jobs they need, I can't work for them because I wasn't in a department with the name 'Human Resources'?
Her: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Me: I see.
If we can't be wrong, we can't take risks. To take no risks is to stagnate or at least invite the absurd or perverse results as we adhere to any policy or rule with total inflexibility.
What we've forgotten is that being wrong, and being willing to admit we are, is one of the strongest bonds of trust you can form with another human being. When we say “I was wrong, you've made a good point and I didn't see it that way, thank you.”, graciously accepting the experience, insight, and knowledge of another, we come together. Our knowledge and experience becomes magnified by all those who stand with us and we grow as people. The moment I admit I'm wrong to someone who has bested my argument or opinion, that person then becomes more willing to listen to me. We become more than the sum of our egos or stubbornness. I mean we all love to be right, but being right MUST begin by seeking answers and learning, a great deal of which includes being wrong and being wrong a lot.
A colleague of mine from Marquette Law said it best:
“We lost our ability to be wrong when we replaced fact with faith.”
With all the information out there at our fingertips, many choose not to use it. Instead they place their faith in charismatic leaders whose opinions they adopt without ever really searching for the fundamental facts. Once everyday politics and news becomes a matter of faith in a speaker or a party or a television or radio host, there is no room for debate. To be wrong in THAT arena undermines the core beliefs of the people involved – who they are - not just the issue being discussed.
To call me wrong about what I think is fine. To call me wrong for who I am is a declaration of war.
We need to everything in our power to remind those around us that our lives and futures are a matter of the former no matter what is true about the latter. America was built on the inspired dialogue of brilliant men. Let's not let that tradition fail in the name of being right at any cost.
In today's media, employment and even social environment, we have adopted a policy of never admitting to any wrong. We avoid being wrong in ways that suggest that should be discovered that we lacked the requisite 'rightness' we might be fired, ostracized or humiliated in a way from which we might never recover. Just watching the discussions between otherwise sane and reasonable people about important topics and you see a wide variety of 'wrongness avoidance'. What do I mean? You all should recognize these:
If the facts start to prove your position untenable, change the subject to something related.
“But John, there was no meeting in your yard and we have film to prove it.”
“See, this is what you people do, you invade privacy and think because you got some secret film you can invalidate my cause!”
If evidence runs against you, attack the speaker, and reference generic 'experts'.
“There were no weapons of mass destruction. We found none. There is no evidence there ever were.”
“You have no idea what you're talking about. Experts say we just got there too late.”
And to prevent being wrong – take no position whatsoever and take no risk by sticking to outrageous generalities.
“Steve, my cause is about the things that are important to all Americans. They are those principles and beliefs core to our way of life and the dreams we all strive for. I think America can agree, that while the Economy is terrible right now, the right people in the right jobs can make it better.”
Finally, follow the instructions of higher-ups literally and painfully to avoid any chance they might say you read the instructions or followed the process 'wrong'.
My example for this is less hypothetical:
I recently got turned down for an position in HR. The recruiter called me to tell me I wouldn't be getting the job because I had no experience in an HR department. The call went something like this.
Her: I'm sorry, Mr. Schmeichel, but this job requires someone with HR experience.
Me: Ahm... I understood that when I applied, I did hiring, firing, reviews, and raises for my department at the Telco for nearly six years. Does this position require more?
Her: No, it doesn't, but you never worked in an HR department, and that's what the manager requires.
Me: Okay, but at the time I was doing HR for my department, our HR wasn't doing direct hiring they were coaching department managers and using us as their HR agents. HR was only 2-3 people. I did everything the job description we discussed requires down to the paperwork.
Her: Yes, but you never worked in an HR DEPARTMENT. That's what the job description requires.
Me: So... even though I could do all the jobs required and have done all the jobs they need, I can't work for them because I wasn't in a department with the name 'Human Resources'?
Her: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Me: I see.
If we can't be wrong, we can't take risks. To take no risks is to stagnate or at least invite the absurd or perverse results as we adhere to any policy or rule with total inflexibility.
What we've forgotten is that being wrong, and being willing to admit we are, is one of the strongest bonds of trust you can form with another human being. When we say “I was wrong, you've made a good point and I didn't see it that way, thank you.”, graciously accepting the experience, insight, and knowledge of another, we come together. Our knowledge and experience becomes magnified by all those who stand with us and we grow as people. The moment I admit I'm wrong to someone who has bested my argument or opinion, that person then becomes more willing to listen to me. We become more than the sum of our egos or stubbornness. I mean we all love to be right, but being right MUST begin by seeking answers and learning, a great deal of which includes being wrong and being wrong a lot.
A colleague of mine from Marquette Law said it best:
“We lost our ability to be wrong when we replaced fact with faith.”
With all the information out there at our fingertips, many choose not to use it. Instead they place their faith in charismatic leaders whose opinions they adopt without ever really searching for the fundamental facts. Once everyday politics and news becomes a matter of faith in a speaker or a party or a television or radio host, there is no room for debate. To be wrong in THAT arena undermines the core beliefs of the people involved – who they are - not just the issue being discussed.
To call me wrong about what I think is fine. To call me wrong for who I am is a declaration of war.
We need to everything in our power to remind those around us that our lives and futures are a matter of the former no matter what is true about the latter. America was built on the inspired dialogue of brilliant men. Let's not let that tradition fail in the name of being right at any cost.
Too often when we can't attack the message, we attack the messenger. Too many of us are confused by logic, need to defy it to maintain our own positions and will shift the burden and focus to the messenger. This is to avoid the pain of reflection and refinement of our positions based on facts rather than misguided perceptions. We have lost the courage to be wrong or to consider other points of view and modify our view when required by the verification of information/facts.
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